Follow the Flame
I have a busy brain. It likes to play - a lot. It associates as if it were free. And it often gets distracted by shiny objects, beautiful people, puppies and stupid puns. I love my brain but there’s been a lot of tug o’ war over the last few years over what we’ve got in focus. For those who get meaning out of it, I am the literal embodiment of a Taurus/Gemini cusp - earth baby and moon child all at once. Living between these two wolves of warm practicality and mischief managing- it can get kinda loud sometimes.
Meditation can be next to impossible to attempt for a squirmy child and god bless my mother for trying. At seven, she gave me my first image to work with - a candle. I forget exactly what mischief I’d managed but it was enough that she sat down with me and we breathed together for a moment.
In through my nose …2….3….4 and out through my mouth…2…3…4…5…6, slower and slower and more and more even.
Then she asked me to picture a candle in the dark. It started as a giant red pillar with big globs of wax dripping all over it because I’d just seen Bram Stoker’s Dracula and my first instinct will always be for the dramatic, but lo and behold, as we kept breathing, it switched to an image of a small red votive in a tiny glass jar.
She asked me to focus on the flame - just to notice how it moved and flickered and how the colors blended in with each other. And after a little while, she told me to follow the flame with my mind and my breath - to allow the flame to influence my breath. The flickering encouraged shorter breaths, while steady waves brought back the calm even breath- it was so invigorating! And finally she told me to lead the flame: it would follow now where I told it to go. Surprise surprise - my little mind was able to move my little mind candle flame from flickers to a roaring turret.
Nothing like a little basic candlemagic to quiet the child.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about that first real introduction to meditation and how my sweet wise mama found a way to equip me with a very powerful tool for my life kit. There are of course, some days where this works better than others, but come on folks: how do we get to Carnegie Hall?
Ugh you know it.
Practice.
Before I pour each candle, while the wax is cooling down in its liquid form to 118 degrees, I commit to this practice - the one handed down to me from my mother. I may have several orders or ideas about designs or getting mad at my printer (usually it boils down to freaking out over not having enough time or money in some form) but you don’t need all that energy when you spark up one of my lights. You already have enough of your own and don’t need extra of mine. And we both know energy doesn’t die- it just transfers.
So, its important for me to clear my brain and put it to the purpose of creating the flame that you will light. Just like I clean those glass jars from all the beet juice and extra hot xxx salsa before we put in new wax, we gotta do the same thing with the mind. While our wax is cooling down in its liquid form to 116 degrees, this is the practice I commit to for at least five minutes before pouring the wax into our waiting and receptive vessels.
When I do, I notice the difference in the pour: the precision, the smoothness of the transition and the centering of the wick comes closer and closer to perfection. A bit closer to the impossible dream.
If you find this practice useful in your own life, please feel free to use some or all of what serves you. Or if you can get your own kiddo to follow the flame for a few minutes- bully for you and I hope you get 5 mins peace out of it! These musings on fire and water, liquid and solid, exhale and inhale help me better practice my inner balance and I hope they do for you too!
